I think most writers, when in the throes of artistic passion, like to think they are geniuses, if not gods of creation. I am no different. When I write that first draft, my balloon of self-worth gets enormous, my ego cannot be defeated and I am on top of the world.

Then comes second and (now on) 3rd drafts. Nothing is as fast as the first draft, which deflates my balloon a little. Nothing comes as easily as my first draft, and the balloon gets down enough so that I can at least fit it into the room. My prose is problematic at best, no where near the swiftly flowing river of intense intellectual prowess that I thought it was coming out of my fingers before. Now I have choppy scenes, clumsy dialogue, and terrible transitions.

But if I have patience with myself and the work...I know it will come around. I know that this is my apprenticeship. This is what all writers must face. No one can crawl inside your head and write the stories for you. No one can see what you can see on the holodeck (some people have simple MOVIE screens, mine is too involved for that, though it brands me as a geek) that is the inside of your mind. You learn by doing, when you write. There is no easy way to get around that. No matter how many books you read on writing, no matter how many courses you take, no matter how many authors you meet in person, the only thing that makes you a writer is to, well, write.

And edit. And polish yourself. There is nothing else. Do by doing. It's not the easiest road. Especially if you have other committments. But just sit down and do it.

Now if only I could train myself to follow my own advice...